What is a Sponsor in A.A.?

Understanding A.A. Sponsorship

A sponsor in Alcoholics Anonymous is an experienced member who guides and supports another person (called a sponsee) through the A.A. program of recovery. This relationship represents one of the most important and effective aspects of A.A., providing personalized guidance, accountability, and support for individuals working to achieve and maintain sobriety.

The sponsor-sponsee relationship is entirely voluntary and based on mutual respect and trust. Sponsors share their experience, strength, and hope while helping sponsees navigate the challenges of early recovery, understand A.A. principles, and work through the Twelve Steps.

This unique form of peer support has proven remarkably effective because it connects individuals who share the common experience of alcohol addiction. Sponsors understand the challenges, rationalizations, and obstacles that come with recovery because they have faced them themselves.

What Does a Sponsor Do?

A sponsor's role encompasses many aspects of support and guidance, always based on sharing personal experience rather than giving professional advice or therapy.

Primary Responsibilities

Working the Steps Together

One of the sponsor's most important functions is guiding the sponsee through the Twelve Steps. This involves explaining each step, sharing how they worked it themselves, suggesting approaches and exercises, and providing support throughout the process. The sponsor helps make the steps practical and applicable to the sponsee's specific situation.

Emotional and Practical Support

Sponsors provide emotional support during challenging times, helping sponsees navigate triggers, relationship problems, work stress, and other life situations that might threaten sobriety. They offer perspective based on their own experience and help sponsees develop healthy coping strategies.

What Sponsors Don't Do

It's equally important to understand what sponsors don't do. Sponsors are not therapists, financial advisors, employers, or caretakers. They don't enable destructive behavior, make decisions for sponsees, or take responsibility for their sponsee's recovery. The relationship is based on sharing experience and support, not professional services or control.

How to Find a Sponsor

Finding the right sponsor is an important decision that can significantly impact your recovery experience. While there are guidelines and suggestions, the choice ultimately depends on personal compatibility and comfort.

Qualities to Look For

Where to Find Sponsors

The best place to find a sponsor is at A.A. meetings. Listen to people share, observe who has what you want in recovery, and notice who demonstrates the principles you'd like to develop. Many meetings have sponsor lists or can connect newcomers with potential sponsors.

The Selection Process

Don't rush the decision. Attend meetings regularly, get to know various members, and listen to their shares. Consider asking someone to be a temporary sponsor while you decide, or request guidance from multiple people as you learn about the program. The relationship can always be changed if it's not working well.

Making the Ask

When you've identified someone you'd like as a sponsor, simply ask them privately after a meeting or call them. Most experienced members are honored to be asked and will either accept or help you find someone else if they're not available. Remember that being turned down isn't personal—it may simply be about their current capacity.

The Sponsorship Relationship

The sponsor-sponsee relationship is unique, combining elements of mentorship, friendship, and spiritual partnership. Understanding what to expect can help both parties navigate this important connection successfully.

Getting Started

Most sponsorship relationships begin with regular contact—daily phone calls in early recovery are common. The sponsor will typically suggest meeting schedules, literature reading, and may begin step work immediately or after a period of stabilization. Communication frequency and methods should be discussed and agreed upon by both parties.

Communication and Contact

Regular communication is essential to sponsorship. This might include daily check-ins, especially in early recovery, weekly meetings for step work, and availability for crisis situations. Both sponsor and sponsee should discuss their availability, preferred communication methods, and boundaries around contact times.

Working Through Challenges

Like any relationship, sponsorship can have difficult moments. Disagreements, personality conflicts, or changing needs may arise. Good sponsors and sponsees address these issues directly and honestly, sometimes with input from other experienced members. Sometimes relationships need to change or end, and this doesn't represent failure.

Evolution of the Relationship

As sponsees gain experience and work through the steps, the relationship often evolves from intensive guidance to peer support. Many former sponsor-sponsee pairs become close friends, and sponsees eventually become sponsors themselves, continuing the cycle of helping others.

Benefits of Sponsorship

The sponsorship relationship provides numerous benefits for both sponsors and sponsees, contributing significantly to the success of recovery and the strength of the A.A. fellowship.

For Sponsees

For Sponsors

Sponsors also receive significant benefits from the relationship. Helping others reinforces their own recovery, provides purpose and meaning, and helps them practice A.A. principles. Many sponsors report that working with sponsees keeps them connected to their own early recovery experience and grateful for their progress.

For the Fellowship

Sponsorship strengthens the entire A.A. community by ensuring that knowledge and experience are passed down, that newcomers receive proper guidance, and that the principles of the program are practiced through service to others. This creates a self-perpetuating system of support and recovery.

Common Questions About Sponsorship

Many newcomers have questions and concerns about sponsorship. Understanding these common questions can help clarify expectations and reduce anxiety about this important relationship.

Timing and Readiness

Many people wonder when they should get a sponsor. Most experienced members suggest getting a sponsor as soon as possible—even at your first meeting. You don't need to be "ready" or have everything figured out. The sponsor's job is to help you become ready and figure things out.

Changing Sponsors

It's perfectly acceptable to change sponsors if the relationship isn't working. This might happen due to personality conflicts, different approaches to recovery, life changes, or simply growing in different directions. Most sponsors understand and support sponsees making changes that serve their recovery better.

Multiple Sponsors or Temporary Arrangements

Some people work with temporary sponsors while deciding on a permanent relationship, or seek guidance from multiple people on different aspects of recovery. These arrangements can work well, as long as everyone involved understands the expectations and boundaries.

Cost and Obligations

Sponsorship is always free—sponsors volunteer their time and experience. There are no financial obligations or formal contracts. The only "payment" is the sponsee's commitment to their recovery and eventual willingness to help others when they're ready.

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